Precautionary Measures
by Angela3275
Summary: Booth finds himself in the middle of a revealing conversation between Bones and Angela.


**Title: Precautionary Measures**

**Pairing: Booth/Brennan  
Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bones. No infringement intended.

* * *

**

Booth sat at a table in the Jeffersonian with Brennan and Angela while waiting for Cam to finish with the body of their latest victim. Until she was done, their hands were tied. They happily chatted about their hair or some such nonsense while Booth watched the clock.

"Ang, do you have any pain relievers in your office?" Brennan asked and that snapped him out of it, and he turned to look at her as she sat next to him.

"Sure, Sweetie," Angela said as she left the table and turned to go get it for her.

"Are you okay, Bones? What hurts?" He moved his eyes over her quickly not noticing any obvious injury. He didn't like to think about her in pain, and she hadn't mentioned anything so far today. She was probably just being stubborn, as usual, he thought.

"No, I'm fine, Booth. It's purely a precautionary measure," she said as Angela returned. He looked at her in confusion. Precautionary? She _expected_ to be in pain in the very near future?

"Okay, I've got Advil, Excedrin, Motrin and plain, old Aspirin. What's your poison?" Angela asked smiling.

"It's far from poisonous, Ang, at least if taken in the recommended dosages," she said and Angela just rolled her eyes. "I'll take the Advil, thanks," Brennan said taking the bottle from her. Booth watched as she removed two and swallowed them with her water.

"What's going on, Bren?" Angela asked.

"I have my first appointment with Monique later," Brennan said casually and Booth was confused again. Who was this Monique person, and how/why was she going to hurt Bones? He watched as Angela nodded in understanding.

"Huh? Somebody want to tell me what I'm missing, here?" Booth said finally, his curiosity finally getting the best of him.

"Monique is Angela's beauty technician. She recommended her and I'm going to see her this afternoon," Brennan said honestly, while still not telling him anything. Typical Bones, he thought.

"So have you decided what you're going to have done yet, Bren?" Angela asked, momentarily interrupting Booth's line of questioning.

"If it hurts to get your hair cut or your nails painted, she's doing something wrong there, Bones," Booth said cutting in before she could answer. They both looked at each other and laughed. Angela quirked an eyebrow at Brennan, apparently questioning if she was going to continue the conversation in front of him. Booth had the sudden urge to excuse himself from the table, but he foolishly ignored it.

Not one to back down from a challenge, she said finally, "No, I haven't decided yet between the Brazilian and the Sphinx." Booth was still lost... wasn't the Sphinx a type of ugly cat?

"Sweetie, I think you should go for the Sphinx this time. While the Brazilian is hot, the Sphinx is so much better!" Hot? The way Angela said it sure made him think she was talking about something sexual. Huh?

"I don't know, Ang. It just seems unnecessary. I've been completely satisfied with the Brazilian for some time now and I'm not certain a change is required," she said standing her ground.

"Bren, trust me! I know what I'm talking about. I can call Hodgins over if you'd like his opinion," Angela said grinning widely.

"Ang, his testimonial would be biased _and_ completely inappropriate," Brennan said seriously and Angela just nodded. Booth finally found an opening and spoke up, a little louder than he intended.

"Okay, okay, back up! What do Brazil and a hairless cat have to do with Monique, and why does she want to hurt you?" Booth was clearly irritated at being out of the loop. Angela stared at him in amusement while Brennan just looked confused by his outburst.

"You're not too far off with the _kitty_ reference, Booth," Angela said and laughed.

"Angela!" Brennan managed to get out before she too was giggling. Great, now they were laughing _at_ him. He scowled at started to get up when Bones put her hand on his arm. "Booth, sit down," she said pleadingly. "Brazilian and Sphinx are types of bikini waxes," she said, finally giving him the detail he needed to put the pieces together. He felt the two pairs of eyes on him gauging his reaction and decided to play it cool.

"Oh, well that makes much more sense, thanks for finally letting me in on your little secret, Bones," he said and smiled at her. He was starting to feel a little bit warm. Bones had said she was satisfied with her Brazilian wax, and had been for some time. All of those times he had pictured her naked, he had assumed she was more 'au natural'… he would have to revisit some of his favorite fantasies now! Booth found his mind wandering to what she would look like in a bikini… and out of a bikini. Thinking about her delectably smooth and exposed flesh down there was pure agony. He wanted to see it, and feel it, and taste it – more than he had ever wanted anything before.

"So why not try the Sphinx, Bren? What could it hurt?" Angela said laughing again.

"Plenty, Ang. You should know," Brennan said simply. He wasn't sure if he was more surprised that she did something so... girly, or that she did something that went against some of her anthropological mumbo-jumbo. While Angela wasn't his type, his brain instantly processed that she also had first-hand knowledge of the procedure. Now he was picturing himself with Bones _and_ Angela. Now that would make for a 'skillful introduction' into the threesome world, huh? He had to remind himself that he was a one-woman man. He quickly brought himself back to the topic at hand.

"I'm surprised you're not anti-waxing, Bones. Are you sure it's not against some ancient, sacred, tribal, ritual… something or another?" Booth had no idea what he was talking about, but he knew it would get a rise out of her. Not to mention he had to come up with something fast since the wax conversation was already getting a _rise_ out of him!

"Booth, you're mistaken. Waxing is an ancient ritual and has been a fairly common practice promoting proper hygiene in the Middle East since 1500 AD. There is also some compelling evidence that it was practiced in 4000 to 3000 BC in India," Brennan said straightforwardly.

"So that's why you do it, because of its historical blah, blah, blah?" He had apparently reached his limit on Squint-speak for the day.

"No, Booth, that's not why I do it," and she looked away almost shyly. Angela had been quiet for a few minutes, but decided to speak up now.

"What's your preference, Booth?" She said knowing it would make his temperature skyrocket instantly. He was sure it didn't matter to her if it was out of lust, anger or embarrassment, she just liked to see him squirm. What got his attention though was that Brennan appeared to be _very interested_ in his answer. His throat felt dry and his palms were sweaty.

"Uh – I don't – I wouldn't…," he had failed miserably.

"Have you ever had a sexual partner that was the recipient of these types of services, Booth?" she asked looking at him with those big, blue eyes. Her lips were slightly parted as she waited for his answer. All he could think about was kissing her and sliding his hand down her skirt.

"Yes," he blurted out suddenly, knowing that he wasn't going to like what came next.

"And?" Angela asked him daringly. God, she was going to kill him, which he actually might have wished for right now if Bones weren't sitting here waiting for him to enlighten her. Why would she care what you thought, Seeley? Get a grip! She's just looked for data; merely conducting some unofficial poll or survey, he thought dejectedly.

"It's hot, okay. I love it," he said and he looked down at his hands a second before bringing his eyes up to meet hers. Angela was silent, watching the two oblivious lovebirds delve deeper into this very sexual topic.

"Oh," Bones said quietly as he watched her consider his answer. "Do you mean – uh – Brazilian or Sphinx?" She asked finally and he swore he felt all of his breath leave his body. Good job, man. Look what you've gotten yourself into now! She was watching him again, hell they both where. Alright, there's no backing down now, he thought.

"I only have a… personal experience with the Brazilian, but I imagine that Angela's right about the Sphinx being 'so much better'!" He mimicked Angela's earlier statement to try to break the tension.

"Alright, I'll try it," Brennan said decidedly and Angela gasped.

"What? Just like that? I've been trying to get you to try it for months, Bren!" She was clearly a little irritated that she didn't take her advice as quickly as she did Booth's. He was tempted to smile and gloat, but all he could think about was Bones going completely bare, _just_ _because_ he said so. He coughed to cover up a groan.

"Thanks, Booth," Brennan said giving him another one of those long, tender looks. Unfortunately the moment ended as Cam walked up and announced that she had found the cause of death and that the others could use what they needed to do their parts.

Booth pulled out his phone to let his guys know the type of weapon they were looking for as he watched Angela and Bones walk away. He knew that no matter how busy he kept himself today, the image of her 'Sphinx' was going torture him all day. He was torn between thanking Angela or murdering her for her influence on Bones…


End file.
